As written by the great Carolyn Petrie.
ROAD TRIP POEM So I drove with my friend Zeb clear across South Dakota We learned about the Navajo, the Sioux and Lakota We discovered countless zillions of Old West treasures
And every single day, we sported sweet athleisure
It was four whole days, we covered 1500 miles We enjoyed reading road signs in affected-British style
But soon enough, we picked up a badass drawl it was much more fittin’ for the SD sprawl
As we tore through the prairie, we was feelin’ mighty fine
Debated music choices, counted up Trump signs Then arrived at the Badlands, it was like friggin’ Mars All the cliffs freaked me out so Zeb handled the car
Them Badlands was crazy, but we were in for more When we bounded down the highway to the Wall Drug store We took a couple pictures, had a stretch, felt good Then fueled up at DQ, next stop: Deadwood
Cruised through Rapid City and we crossed a couple rivers We got to the casino and we primed up our livers Yup, we had a couple drinks, then another, quite a lot We were ‘bout to learn the meaning of “Big, Loose Slots”
Hey, I’m only talkin’ money – let’s keep things clean
We had a nice adventure once I made a little green That’s right — I spent a quarter and I came out a winner
So we headed to K. Costner’s for a mediocre dinner
Now I’m not a big fan of those movie-star joints But this cowtown shack scored a couple major points We saw a Whitney costume and some guys who looked like felons and Bartender Brian really filled out his denim
Day Two was really huge, all the greatest hits in store Spearfish, Crazy Horse, a hill they call Rushmore Saw a PBS celeb at the Homestake Mine And Zeb’s inner childhood geek was super-psyched, big-time
Ate a fine beef sandwich at Cafe of Hill City So many mayo salads, we were truly sittin’ pretty Then we rolled on back to Rapid and we fell into bed And I slept so hard Zeb was scared I might be dead
It was good we rested up, headed straight into Winner met Granny Claudine, had a broasted chicken dinner Seeing Zeb’s hometown was pretty darn neat-o
But at the Hillcrest Motel we had to drink some Tito’s
There’s so much more to tell, like Muriel and Lowell And we visited with Joyce, saw some buildings that were old Had a pizza-chat with Cheryl, and the Dinosaur Park
Thank heavens that we never hit a deer after dark
Well, we saw a lotta stuff and we had a lotta laughs
Road trips with friends are fun and South Dakota kicks ass Overall I’d say Zeb, thanks for such a great time
Four action-packed days and not a single hate crime!